My plan is not to change your mind.

This week was bomb.com even though it was the most stressful week of school yet. So Monday through Friday went to school. I managed to get a C+ on AP world test, C on grammar test & an A on Chem test. The rest of my classes I have at least an A, except Filipino cause she hasn't added all the grades in. It's all good. So Friday, I went to spend the whole day with Breanna which was fun. We both got some food together at Town Center & watched two movies - Eagle Eye & Nights in Rodanthe. Both of the movies were good but I didn't get some of the parts. Afterwards we went to borders and came home around 10ish. Saturday, just spent the day with my daddy. Sunday morning I was suppose to go out with Jane's brother Bryce & go to Ihop with him at 5 AM, get some clothes & drop me off at practice but no. My dad said it was too early! Wtf! Next time, hopefully. But NE had a photo shoot today & it was a first for me. We went somewhere in West Covina which was hella pretty. We did some team shots & head shots that are suppose to come in on Friday! Yay! Haha afterwards just went to Jack in the Box with the boys on the team, chilled in the studio & went home. Another week tomorrow & I hope it passes by fast.

Love, Katrina.

Teconology these days...

Hello lovely! Sexiest thing since...ever.



Can't wait till October 19th!

Love,
Katrina.

Can you?

I want something new,
something out of the ordinary.

I hate living a daily weekly routine.
I want something more than that.

Love,
Katrina.

I gotta fight to stay strong.

Yesterday night I fell asleep to Life, Love, Everything by Gabe Bondoc. It brought so much good memories in the past & it helped me fall asleep. Although it means nothing now, I wish I was that happy again. For a month or two, I was as happy as a girl can be. I had everything, or at least I thought I did. Everything happens for a reason but I'm glad that something like that can happen in my life, even if it is for a short period of time.

All my life, I was never handed anything on a silver platter. I always had to save my own money or work my ass off to get what I want. Now that my dad is telling me he's going to buy me a 16GB itouch is kind of strange. Knowing him - all he does is save his money. Never spending a dime unless it's important & always putting a price on my happiness. I offered to split the money with him to buy it, but he got furious & said that "I'm too stubborn" to hear his reasoning. I know I'm stubborn, but your the cause of this. Ever since the time mommy said "You have to watch what you spend," really effected me. You don't even know how much it did. You don't even know what the fuck I'm going through right now & you said you "want me happy?" Well I'm not. I've been exactly the opposite. I'm been stressed out to the max now-a-days. I wish you can see your little girl needs to get the fuck away from here, but that's never going to happen.

Love,
Katrina

Dear Mr. Right,

Are you out there? I hope I meet you one day. I'm tired of having feelings that are unsure of & always second doubting myself about silly things. Promise me you'll stay right by my side -through tick & think, laughter & tears. Prove to me your words are true & have your actions to back it up. I hope that you would dance with me no matter what the time, place or song just because. I hope I am perfect in your eyes, just like you are perfect in mines. I hope you see me as me, always encourage me and care for me. I hope that you'll be faithful to me and completely honest in everything you say&do. For now, I'm going to stop looking.
But most of all, I hope you really exist.

Nothing last forever.

You should be fucken proud that you got through my head
& ruined my happiness that I've wanted for the past year.
You knew that I was happy & you intentionally killed it.


I hope you feel good now.

Edited: September 29th.
Fights can only make a friendship stronger.

Love,
Katrina.

"People will pick you apart...be your own glue."

I've been sad for the last few days now. Well, not entirely but it's been school that has been hitting me hard lately & some other things as well...I haven't been getting enough sleep as well as being on my menstrual cycle which sucks to the max. I've been really thinking about how everything is changing & questioning myself lately. With where I am now, could I have made a wrong decision to cause my own sadness. I don't know, & I probably shouldn't be thinking about that but I guess it's God's punishment of not going to church often. Nothing really new to write about cause I wrote in here for the past two days straight. There's way more things I could write about in here, but most of them are sad thoughts which in the future I don't want to look back at so enough about that.

In other news, I feel great that I got an 58.6 on my AP World History test chapters 1-8. I feel so non-asian right now! Ahaha. I thought about lamenting it or framing it cause it was hard as fuck & class average was 48%, I believe? Studied for five hours on that shiet which I have to review in May. Well, more studying tonight for English test tomorrow. Sometimes, I hate having an asian mentality.

Love,
Katrina.

Keep moving forward.

Some people don't even realize what they say to make a person feel bad which I'm guilty of. In any case, that's what you're doing to me. I've always wanted to tell you that, but I know that will change our friendship. You're not a bad person though, it's just the way you are. When you invite someone to a place, don't un-invite them because that's just rude. You do that a lot, & when the day does come, nothing turns out the way it should. Sometimes it's me, sometimes it's you but our plans falls apart. I don't know....but sometimes I wish you don't tell me some of the things you do tell me. It does affect the way I am & it can be in my head for weeks. Like today - Goon Squad? I'm probably not going to talk about it now, thanks to you. I should just take my "cockiness," of goon squad now & not talk about it for awhile. Then again, that's not what a best friend should do.

Edited: September 29th.
Fights can only make a friendship stronger.

Love,
Katrina.

This could be you.

1. Thanks for always being there. You've taught me so many things about friendship & about life in general over these past few months. It's incredible how close we are now. I know October is approaching soon, but things don't have to change between us. If we both cherished this friendship as much as we said, then two thousand miles won't have nothing on us.

2. Honestly, our friendship is whatever. I don't mind if you throw it away or not cause I've realized why would I want a friend like you? I've wasted enough time caring about you when you haven't cared about me the same way. No homo. It sucks a lot when you don't want to talk about it & it's left unresolved. If that's the way you want to have it, I'm fine with that. It just surprises me on how much lies are in our friendship. Chicks > Dicks? Nah, your action shows different.

3. There's just something about you that you just possess. Then again, I hardly know you. I can't deny it, I feel happier when I'm around you & I simply like it when I hug you. I don't know why I feel this way cause it hardly ever happens that a person like you comes into my life. If anything, I should get to know you first before jumping to conclusion. I hope you read this & know this is you.

4. I miss you so much! MAAAN, we need to chill soon. You were always the BEST listener when I had a problem. Even though you don't give the best advice, you always tried the best & that's what counts. I miss summer & how we use to skip Quest & go to Dolphin Bay to get some food. One day again next summer?

5. You've both been nothing but good to me. Good times, good laugh, & good dances? Aha, I hope I do get closer to both of you cause you two seem to be really down. It's sucks that we don't go to the same schools, but we'll all be driving next year & we'll kick it soon.

6. You are my biggest inspirations. I've always wanted to say that to you but something always holds me back. What a shame...but thanks for everything you've done to make me a better dancer. I want to be like you want one day.

7. You are way too cute! Thanks for encouraging me every step of the way. I hope we get closer & chill soon when you're in Cerritos or something. I hate how we live so far away, boo!

8. I love you, I think you should know that.