I love life.

What a week this week was.
& what a week next week will be!



This made my day♥

$200 & under.

15+ tops, 2 shorts, 1 slipper/flats, 2 bags, 1 belt, & a lot of jewelry.
My spring shopping is over. Less than three months till my birthday :)

Sorry.

I WANT CHANGE.

“No matter how careful you are, there’s going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn’t experience it all. There’s that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should’ve been paying attention.”

Thoughts lately.

1) I thought about it, and I really feel like working out.
2) I thought about it, and I can't wait till Sunday.
3) I thought about it, and I asked myself why can't I find someone like you.
4) I thought about it, and why is it so cold right now.
5) I thought about it, and I was wondering if you're gonna keep your promise.
6) I thought about it, and I wonder why people think I'm "hard to get."
7) I thought about it, and I miss best.
8) I thought about it, and I think I'm going to change my clothing style.
9) I thought about it, and I really am going to cut back on cursing.
10) I thought about it, and I really really want to meet you.
11) I thought about it, and I feel lonely right now.
12) I thought about it, and I want some yogurt from yogurtland.
13) I thought about it, and I'm wondering why my AP grade is a D.
14) I thought about it, and we have been getting closer everyday.
15) I thought about it, and I really want to start driving.
16) I thought about it, and I want to go to college some where far.
17) I thought about it, and my hands are freezing right now.
18) I thought about it, and I need to change batteries in my calculator.
19) I thought about it, and I want summer to come.
20) I thought about it, and I keep thinking about it...

You make me wish I had a time machine.

Today, I told my mommy what I'm really scared of. & just like a mommy does, she told me not to worry about it. I know I shouldn't, but it's always been there...in the back of my head but sometimes I just forget. How can she be so sure that in seven years everything will fall into place. Maybe everything WON'T fall into place & something happens. Gah, I'm about to start crying right now...Sometimes I wish I can fast forward time & see where I will be at in ten years & then come back satisfied & relaxed. But what's the fun out of that, right? :0)

I can't complain.

Musiq soulchild ALWAYS hits the spot. He seriously needs to make a new album already. But anways, I was listening to his single "Buddy," for the last twenty minutes straight. His music always makes me realize something...

I'm tired of relationships & people comining in and out of my life whenever they want. I'm tired of putting relentless effort into relationships when obviously the other person is not putting the same effort in. Cause a relationship works two ways & sometimes it's just better to walk away & be friends... All in all, I'm askking for a true friendship. A different kind of commitment where I have someone I can depend on & be down no matter what. You know, that person you can tell all your fuck ups too & past knowing that they won't judge you for those little things. In conclusions, I just want someone that I can just forget about stress, worries & problems at that moment & be truly myself around.

Don't get me wrong though, a relationship wouldn't hurt but a part of me is beginning to think that we really are too young to be in relationships. Come to think of it, what is love to us at 15, 16, & 17 ? I was listening to this one guy talk about the kind of love that he wants & he alluded to Teenage Love: "..& just like in high school, I wanna spend hours on the phone not saying shit. I wanna celebrate one o.. those one month anniversaries eventhough they ain..t really anniversaries, but doing it just 'cause it makes her happy type loves." That's true for a lot of couples in high school. A lot of people define a couple as spending hours on end together, holding hands, talking on the phone until morning comes when really, that's only part of it. Yeah, that's the cute part of it, but in truth, that doesn..t even make up a fourth of a relationship. It's making decisions together & sacrifices for each other, literally being the one to catch them should one of you fall, encouraging, understanding, & compromising, making each other a better person than they were coming into it--commitment. All of that & so much more. I really think that if I was to be in a relationship again, may it be soon or a while from now, I'm going to do a lot of things differently. I just think that a lot of relationships nowadays are based on on-the-surface things & I'd really like to be a part of something much more meaningful than that. I want all the small things & the big things rolled into one. Some of you may say that I'm asking for a lot, but to give my heart to someone is also asking for a lot.

*BUT, I love best friends & kuyas. I love you guys, no joke.

Once in awhile

You should try reading - It helps you get your mind off things.

To Katrina.

Just stop...you know it's pointless holding on.
I know you tried to make things work.
But hey, "it takes two to tango."

Besides, you have someone right front of you.
Sure, he might not be the same as the last,
but still...you're not giving him a fair chance
if you keep holding back.

It's pointless & you're kind of pathetic.

♥ Katrina