I realize.

We always want something we can't have. & yet, we put relentless effort in pursuing it. With you... you're like the exception to every rule in my book. It's not like your anything special cause you're not - I barely know you. Supposedly, you are you my type. You drink, smoke, "dance," party & just want to live life to the fullest but that's not enough. Is there even chemistry there? You...never get serious about girls I heard so why am I still tripping out about you right now? Fuck, fuck, fuck. I even saved a text that my friend said about you. I guess I like the chase since I can't have you. & you know what? I don't think there's even a possibility between us. I should stop but it's easier said then done.

Roll it over baby.

You're so lucky that I'm a person that keeps my shit inside of me. Ohh wee, I would put you on blast on my blogspot right now but that's fucken stupid. I'm all about good times, but you really push it. As a friend, I told you on what you need to work on, but hey...it doesn't seem to be getting through your head.

On a brighter note, I took Feng's class at Quest today! That's wassup. It was overcrowded though and he didn't really teach the last eight counts or so that well. Better luck next time!

I won't be held down, with all the things that happened in the past

This is how I'm living lately: carefree.

FML.

I am deprived of sleep. Why? I don't know why. I've been sleeping past one this whole week just because. & I always get tired around seven o'clock but something in me gives me energy at just about nine o'clock. After this week, I think three more weeks left & tada, school is ovaa. Made some summer plans, SAT class, best friend, Quest job, DANCE, volunteer, kickin it at West Covina & permit! Fasho, this summer cracckin.

I miss best friend! Well, I needa study. Good daay.

Life, Love, Everything.

Okay. This is it, no more lying to myself. Seeing your name still gives me a good feeling, but I don't know what it is this time. Lately, all these songs have been reminding me of you. It's kind of crazy of how much you meant to me & how much faith I had in us. At one point, I thought that we were unbreakable, that this was what I wanted. I swear, that's never going to change & I know we did the right thing to cut off our feelings, but why stop talking as friends? You kept me on track when I needed it the most, you helped me through my rough patches when I wasn't thinking straight. You gave me a feeling that I never felt before & you were the first person I ever tripped out about...To make it short, you were everything I literally wanted in a person. Sounds cliche right? Because it is. But I realize there are some goodbyes to occur & some sacrifices to be made till things fall in to place. Point is, thanks for keeping me in place & giving me a summer to remember. Hope you & your girl friend are going strong.

This blog wasn't meant to be sad. This is what I wish I could say to you...personally. I mean, call me a stupid/creepy girl for remembering you two years ago, but it was the first time I fell for someone...& it was deep. There's so much more I wish I could say to you, but I'm not the type that writes all my shit down on blogspot nonetheless the world..

I don't know why.

I like this picture a lot.

You...

You are always cutting my fucken thought off.
I hate it. & yes, I used the word hate.

Fuck off now.