I can't complain.

Musiq soulchild ALWAYS hits the spot. He seriously needs to make a new album already. But anways, I was listening to his single "Buddy," for the last twenty minutes straight. His music always makes me realize something...

I'm tired of relationships & people comining in and out of my life whenever they want. I'm tired of putting relentless effort into relationships when obviously the other person is not putting the same effort in. Cause a relationship works two ways & sometimes it's just better to walk away & be friends... All in all, I'm askking for a true friendship. A different kind of commitment where I have someone I can depend on & be down no matter what. You know, that person you can tell all your fuck ups too & past knowing that they won't judge you for those little things. In conclusions, I just want someone that I can just forget about stress, worries & problems at that moment & be truly myself around.

Don't get me wrong though, a relationship wouldn't hurt but a part of me is beginning to think that we really are too young to be in relationships. Come to think of it, what is love to us at 15, 16, & 17 ? I was listening to this one guy talk about the kind of love that he wants & he alluded to Teenage Love: "..& just like in high school, I wanna spend hours on the phone not saying shit. I wanna celebrate one o.. those one month anniversaries eventhough they ain..t really anniversaries, but doing it just 'cause it makes her happy type loves." That's true for a lot of couples in high school. A lot of people define a couple as spending hours on end together, holding hands, talking on the phone until morning comes when really, that's only part of it. Yeah, that's the cute part of it, but in truth, that doesn..t even make up a fourth of a relationship. It's making decisions together & sacrifices for each other, literally being the one to catch them should one of you fall, encouraging, understanding, & compromising, making each other a better person than they were coming into it--commitment. All of that & so much more. I really think that if I was to be in a relationship again, may it be soon or a while from now, I'm going to do a lot of things differently. I just think that a lot of relationships nowadays are based on on-the-surface things & I'd really like to be a part of something much more meaningful than that. I want all the small things & the big things rolled into one. Some of you may say that I'm asking for a lot, but to give my heart to someone is also asking for a lot.

*BUT, I love best friends & kuyas. I love you guys, no joke.